June 19, 2019

“Should I Leave My Job?” What To Do When You Feel Torn

SHOULD I leave my job?

“Should I leave my job?…” 85% of American’s are asking that very same question.

To figure out whether or not you should leave your job, ask yourself a series of questions including:

  1. “Am I fulfilled challenged & growing here?”
  2. “Is this Environment Toxic?”
  3. “Do I feel a deep internal need to go?”
  4. “Am I overworked/undervalued?”
  5. “Are my problems the job’s fault or my fault?”

SHOULD I leave my job?

Why Do We Consider Leaving Our Jobs?

Lack of internal satisfaction

Our job no longer satisfies us internally & we feel it more and more until we say “I really need to get the hell outta here.”. Internal satisfaction means: challenge, worth, value, growth etc.. When you’re job no longer meets your internal needs, the flavor leaves and your motivation drops until you dread even driving to work each day.

We’re not vibing with the environment anymore

Maybe you never did. We can sometimes overlook redflags because of the novelty of a job. It’s brand new, so we feel it out, choose not to judge or to see how things play out on a general basis. We wanna know what the “regular” behavior and atmosphere of the place is before we judge it. Plus, when you join a new workplace and you’re brand new, you tend to not judge things because you’re trying to make a good impression.

After you get a feel for the pecking order, the routine, and how things work at your job, you’re a little less lenient with the judgements and notice more. When that occurs, you might start to realize how crummy the place really is. Those little things actually do annoy you and you’re not into who works there, how the work is done, why the work is done, etc…

We’re burnt out, sick of it, about to erupt!

Burnout is a real thing. It comes from being physically, mentally/psychologically depleted. When you don’t refill your car with gas, it conks out. When you give and give to a job and don’t take the time to rest, refill your tank, and continue on afterward, you conk out too!

Burn out can happen because of physical exhaustion. If you work long hours, double shifts, a ton of overtime, or have more responsibilities than you can handle, burnout can happen easily. Especially if you’re sincere about making a good impression and doing the best you can, you might actually enjoy doing the extra work, but that doesn’t turn you into a superhuman. You still need rest.

Then again, you could also be mentally exhausted. Mental exhaustion can come from dealing with the same stupid issues over and over again, dealing with incompetence, stubborn employees or bosses etc…

Frustration can take a toll on you, especially if you don’t see a solution on the horizon.

What Are Good Reasons To Leave Your Job?

  1. Your job no longer accommodates your personal schedule
  2. You have a major life change happening that requires adjustment
  3. You’re burnt out or undervalued
  4. The Atmosphere has become a bit “thick”
  5. You’re thinking about taking your career in a different direction
  6. Your intuition (internal guidance system / gut feeling) is telling you to

What’s The Best Way To Leave Your Job?

Smooth over the actual reason if you need to

Do you know what a life grenade is? Don’t toss one when you’re on your way out. Don’t give anyone a good reason to hate you or think they’re better off now that you’re gone. In fact, your best bet is probably to leave in such a way that they feel at a loss.

Create an atmosphere where people support your decision

Try to get people on your side. Create a “sob” story (not really) and make the reason why you’re leaving inspiring and motivating to those who listen to you talk about it so afterwards they think “Good for them”.

Prepare yourself

Leaving your safety net can be scary. Make sure you do everything you need to do in order to feel safe, secure, maintained and ok while you’re doing the quitting – searching process.

Ideally, there should be a period where you are setting yourself up for something better (job searching) and still working at your current spot. Otherwise, you better have some serious superhuman skills, or massive capital raised to keep the bills paid after you quit.

Some people aren’t gonna get why you’re leaving. Some people will shit on your dream if you’re leaving to create a business, or make it somewhere else, some will say your foolish because “You’ve got it so good here”. Others won’t give a flying fu#k and will give you a half-hearted “Oh, well we’ll miss you.”

Be prepared for all of it.

Be polite, cordial, professional and able to return

Self explanatory. Follow the rules of leaving work properly. Ideally you want to live in such a way that you could return if the change you have planned backfires, you realize the grass really isn’t greener at another place, etc…

Take the Plunge

The first thing you wanna do before leaving your job ask yourself the right questions. Asking yourself questions is an exercise that allows you to get below surface emotions, thoughts and beliefs to the underlying truth of a situation.

Do the 5 why exercise: example below

  1. Why do you want to leave?
  2. You hate your job
  3. Why do you hate your job?
  4. You’re always tired.
  5. Why are you always tired?
  6. You have to work super late at night and you’d rather work in the morning because you’re an early riser.

See how that works? Now you know that the problem is not so black and white. You might be able to get a different schedule at work…who knows? Maybe you will still have to look for something different, but by asking the right questions you can understand the situation better and make a more informed decision. Bad decisions ruin lives.

If you’re still planning on leaving, do common sense things like:

  1. Make sure you choose a job that is deeply satisfying this time
  2. Have enough saved up to keep you above water while you’re job searching OR
  3. Don’t quit until you have something certain lined up, and then leave gracefully
  4. Help them replace you if that’s important (you decide)
  5. Don’t tell everyone to “go fu$k themselves” when you’re leaving!

Decide on the right direction for you

Are you really meant for another job? For me personally, when I left my last job, I knew another job wasn’t a good fit for me. I hated following orders, I was dissatisfied living out someone else’s dream and doing their life for them. I had a deep desire for freedom and lots (lots and lots and lots) of money, so forging my own path was the only right decision for me to take. Which, in part, gave birth to the blog you’re reading now.

  1. Decide if you’re gonna do your own thing (not work for someone else). There are more than a few options!
  2. If you’re in for another job, make sure it’s perfect, or damn close! You don’t wanna have to leave again!
  3. Do a bunch of research online (or right here) about all the new ways of making money and paying the bills in 2020 and beyond!

What are you thinking about the best path for you is? Let me know in the comments and we can talk about the next step!

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Ikigai: How to Find your Passion & Purpose in Life

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Brian Wright

I read a lot of books. I learn from a lot of experts. I learn stuff and package it all up for you.

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