How Making life changes can Free you from Boredom, Transform you into who you’re Destined to be & Save your Life!
Making life changes isn’t something you’ve had much success with lately – is it?
I know what you’re thinking. “Let’s see if this guy has anything for me that’s actually gonna work.”
You can put your tinfoil hat away, because I’m not here to feed you any of the usual medicine that obviously hasn’t worked for you.
I’m not gonna tell you to –
- Just be positive and everything will work out
- I’m not going to have you start a gratitude journal
- I won’t tell you to stop complaining or deny your emotions
- I don’t think the reason you’re having issues is that you compare yourself to others too much
- Stop complaining
- I could care less whether you feel comfortable in your own skin or
- You read a book a day
Or anything like that.
Because I know you don’t need to hear any of that stuff right now.
There’s only one thing you need to know about how to change your life for the better, and that’s this –
These life changes are not an option, they’re your duty, and you’ll end up making them regardless. The only question is when.
Because you know these changes are what you need in your life. You know they are what will help you grow, and thats what you’re here for, isn’t it?
Are you interested in just having the same old thing that you’ve already chewed up and spit out on the floor?
Are you really going to continue picking that gum from the bottom of your desk and fooling yourself into thinking “Maybe there’s some more flavor I missed.”
We naturally grow in and out of things as we progress through life. It’s a wonderful process, but if we fight it – it can smack us around in the most painful ways.
Who you’ve grown into is better, wiser, faster, stronger, and ready for more – but none of that happens without the changes you MUST make in order to make room for that new self.
Wanna know a secret? You will make these changes.
You will make them right now, when its easy, or life will force them on you.
The pressure will build, and force a rapid explosion in your life the same way pressure builds inside a bottle of soda when you shake it up.
With soda, just a mess on the floor.
With your life, broken relationships, addictions, losing jobs, falling out with family, divorce, etc…
Please trust me on this.
A serious life change that was due for a while built up so much pressure in my life that I didn’t speak to a dear loved one for more than two years afterward.
It was devastating, and the pain of making the changes now, is no comparison to having your life irreversibly altered by waiting too long.
Thats what I mean when I saw that you will make these life changes – because you have your own best interests in mind, and it’s just the smart thing to do.
I don’t want you to be motivated only by pain though, because thats not the truth.
Try to remember a time when you were exhilarated every moment of the day.
It was a combination of unexplored territory, challenge, goals, focus, and fun.
It created a passion in your life much like a brisk cold making your cheeks a little red.
Maybe you remember that and want it back.
Perhaps you’re having difficulty remembering those times.
Either way, that feeling where you’re enamored by the life you live is within reach, but in order to maintain it, you must match your external reality with your internal growth.
Remember that scene in the Shawshank Redemption where Andy Dufresne leaves the sewer system of the prison he was held captive in, and feels the rain on his skin for the first time?
He threw his hands up in the air in a moment of triumph, but it wasn’t the rain – it was freedom.
You are Andy Dufresne.
& this life that needs to be altered, that is no longer suited for you, is your prison.
You will be challenged, but you will be free.
How to motivate yourself to change your life
Making changes in your life starts with understanding that changes need to be made (as corney and basic as that sounds).
I remember when I first wondered about how to change my life, I got super serious about it – but those changes weren’t so easy.
Maybe this is the case for you too. Are you wondering how to make positive changes in your life and stick to them?
My aunt would always tell me that people only change when they’re fed up.
Meaning: until you fully identify with this current version of your life no longer working for you, no change will occur.
The problem is: the secret to getting motivated to do anything lies in identifying with the future and having the fortitude to move towards it, even though the transformation is a little disturbing at first.
If you wait until you’re “ready” (which never happens), you’ll end up waiting until
- Opportunities that were ideal for you have gone to someone else who took the leap
- Life has to force you out of your old situation and into your new situation (very bad idea. Extremely painful).
- You’ll have to bear the regret of knowing the change was ultimate a blessing in disguise and feeling like you wasted time (heart breaking experience)
So what is it that really makes change happen?
It’s not a 10 step formula. It’s not endless motivational quotes and listening to inspirational podcasts (even though they DO help)…
It’s rejecting/letting go of nonsense beliefs we’re taught like:
And embracing empowering (& much more accurate to be honest) beliefs like –
Making life changes: The “Fed up – Ready now” list
Now that you know that making changes in your life is really not an option, but a necessity that makes sense, you might be wondering – is this guy gonna show me how to change my life and be happy? How to make a change in the world even?
Here are 21 ways I’ve come up with that will make serious waves in your life (with only weeks of pursuit)!
1. Change your story
The internal story you read over and over dictates the reality you experience.
There are things you do not do because you do not believe they’re possible.
IF you do not believe something is right, honorable, appropriate, you will not do it.
Our beliefs affect the actions we take in life.
So what happens when we have beliefs that limit our potential?
Or other damaging beliefs like
- Beliefs that problem causing people in our lives cannot change
- That the world is out to get us
- That were stupid, inept, incapable, and inadequate
Those beliefs will affect the actions we take, the people we hang around, and the results we get, which is the sum total of our entire life experience.
The Department of Psychiatry at JSS University published this on the nature of beliefs:
Beliefs are like ‘Internal commands’ to the brain as to how to represent what is happening, when we congruently believe something to be true. In the absence of beliefs or inability to tap into them, people feel disempowered.
Both of these points are accurate. When you don’t know what to believe, do you not feel confused, halted, stopped in your tracks and “disempowered”?
It’s a frightening experience to have to admit “I don’t know what to believe!”.
The point here is really that – all truths are relative truths other than the absolute truth.
This means two things.
I’ll give you an example!
Let’s say you have a belief that you got when you were a kid. You took a guitar class when you were young, brimming with enthusiasm for life…but you messed up something while playing in class.
You might think that because you messed up when you were a kid that your beliefs are valid, right?
The nature of belief is tricky, but learning to manipulate your beliefs such that they’re conducive to the life you want to live is crucial, and has nothing to do with deluding yourself.
Here’s how I would take this negative belief and turn it into an empowering one.
Change your beliefs, change your life.
When you condemn yourself, limit yourself, or feel bad about your circumstance, ask yourself,
“What would I need to belief to make what I think about this (person – place – thing) true?”.
Change that belief into a better one and practice confirming it.
2. Reprogram your subconscious mind
The subconscious mind is a tool left on the table and under utilized by most.
I’m not one of those people who down plays the part the conscious mind has to play in our lives so much that the subconscious becomes the god of our reality – but I have found in my own life it to be such a valuable tool.
Not using it to our advantage is just wild and completely nuts in my opinion.
A quote from Dr. Bargh at Yale University:
“…we frequently come to a conclusion that may seem startling: people often make decisions without having given them much thought…before they have thought about them consciously.”
From an edition of Scientific American
Behaviors governed by the unconscious go beyond looking both ways at the corner. Embedded attitudes below the level of awareness shape many of our attitudes toward others.
The point here being: our desires are irrelevant when we have a piece of the mind, capable of being programmed, and causing us to live out that programming regardless of our conscious desire.
Whats the point here? If you want to change your life, make a serious effort to change your subconscious programming. You have programming, whether you like it or not. The only questions is whether or not the programming is good for you and the life you desire (deserve).
Where do you start? Right here
3. Find your new clique
If you bathe in the sewer every day, you’re gonna smell like the sewer.
Similarly, you must make sure most of your time is spent around people think like you, speak your language, believe in the same ideas as you and are supportive of your progress.
If that’s impossible for you because of your circumstances, than interact with them however you can within your current environment.
- Find your favorite “famous persons” youtube channel, instagram etc…
- Pick a friend that understands you and make sure you can unload on them
- Read books about your interests, dreams, desires goals and make that your environment.
Control what you absorb from your environment. The easiest way to do this is to find a conducive environment. If you can’t make your current environment supportive of the “new you” by filling it with ideas, feelings, emotions, paraphernalia, and knowledge of the new you.
Example: getting a bookshelf with all your personal development books on it, and spending time listening to your favorite self development teachers audio books, absorbing that energy and shielding yourself from interference.
4. Increase the amount of focus on your health
Get more sleep.
You’ve probably heard this from 20 million people already, but why? Over the course of your life, a habit of getting inadequate sleep has been proven to lead to health problems like:
Drink more water.
If you’d rather not stay hydrated though, you can always look forward to –
You don’t need to go crazy on the water, but I know people who literally say things like “I can’t drink plain water”.
Excuse me? You carbon based life form, that’s the dumbest thing you could have said in a million life times.
You’re an adult human, drink your half a gallon per day and go to bed.
Stop carrying excess body fat.
Humans are so funny, aren’t we?
We don’t want people to feel self conscious about their bodies, because we know how much pain that can cause, and yet we cry when our loved ones have cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol, and diabetes.
Here are the facts: excess visceral fat (the fat that is stored in your waist and belly area) is the cause of the three top ways to die on planet earth.
- You don’t need to compare yourself to super models
- You don’t need to care if someone doesn’t like what you look like. Thats their problem
- You DO need to make good decisions for you and your longevity
Do what you need to do, but getting rid of the excess body fat that we carry is an effective way to increase confidence, health & vitality, energy levels and life enthusiasm.
5. Self diagnose your life ills
So you’re sitting there, with this pit in your gut, right?
You’re thinking about how nothing is working in your life, everything seems to be falling apart.
Things have gotten so difficult for you and you don’t even know where to start.
All you know is that you need a big change, and now, if thats ok…
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you had a doctor to just study your life and tell you everything thats wrong and what medicine to take to cure it?
The WebMD way of self diagnosing your issues is to use a technique that professional life coaches have been keeping secret for years.
It’s called the wheel of life – a simple and effective way to find the areas of your life that need patching up.
It wont do the patching up for you, but it will show you exactly where your attention needs to go.
Tony Robbins also has a wonderfully in depth Wheel of Life process you can go through for free.
6. Stop disrespecting yourself / Take your dreams seriously
Everyday there’s a conversation going on in your head between your highest possibilities and what you’ve always believed up until now.
You might think one side has the more accurate version of reality, but actually, the side you feed the most is the one who will win.
Think about that.
Limiting your potential in this life is nothing but disrespectful, and it’s as bad to do it to yourself as it is to do it someone else.
There is no discord in being presently aware but still being hopeful about the possibilities the future holds.
There’s nothing admirable or superior about only focusing on whats been created by those who came before you and being afraid to do bigger and different.
There’s nothing wonderful about “being a realist” who has their head buried in the concrete rather than up in the clouds.
We’re all full of two things: ourselves, and shit.
You can make that less so if you just started saying, “I could probably accomplish that, if I decided to and did what had to be done.”.
7. Brainstorm a way to make more money
Now more than ever you have a seriously good chance of making a substantial income online. It’s not a gimmick and its not only for a certain type of person.
There are several ways to monetize what your passionate about on the side and watch the increased income change your life.
It will also reorient your life toward a challenging goal, which is always good.
8. Figure out your chronotype
I used to follow wake up early, get started before everyone else, and have a generic “Optimized” daily routine for myself.
Until I found Dr. Breus and learned about chronotypes.
Even though I am researching a bunch of things for these posts, chronotype was not something I looked up very intensely (I’ll be honest).
I didn’t need to. I decided to try it out because there was no risk involved.
All I can tell you is that since changing my morning and daily routines around my chronotype, the day has become so much easier.
You’re chronotype is how your particular physiology is suited for performing certain activities of sleeping eating and creativity during the day.
I used to sleep from 930 to 5 am – it worked but I was forcing it.
Now I sleep from midnight to 730 am, and waking up is so easy its almost miraculous. I feel more energized every day, more productive..its just awesome.
9. Consume more information. Like, a lot more.
I told you I wasn’t going to tell you to start reading a book a day, but consuming non fiction information is good for you because
The funny thing about humans, is that a large percentage of us walk around as if we know so much, yet when’s the last time they read a single book?
Where does their knowledge come from? They were just born knowing?
Most of what we know comes from school, and programmed beliefs we received as children from our adult overseers.
If you wanna be a know-it-all, you’re gonna need more than that.
10. Allow yourself to harness the power of your mind
Mindfulness has been proven to reduce stress, anxiety and depression as well as
- Release daily tension and stress
- Increase creativity
- Boost mental and physical performance
- Slow your heart rate for long term health
- Nurture our important personal relationships
Our minds can be peaceful or chaotic. When our minds are in a constant state of turmoil, the world and everything in it looks like its covered in shit.
Taking a few minutes each day to clear out the crap will change your life drastically the moment you decide to do it.
Read my review on a seriously incredible and inexpensive mindfulness program here. In this review, I prove that mindfulness is based on science and has real benefits for your brain, body and mind.
11. Start letting others be who they are
Have you ever heard of Gary Vanyerchuk talk about his secret to happiness?
He has no expectations of others.
This is what I call a cornerstone personal growth epiphane – something that we all realize sooner or later.
It’s a huge stepping stone on a general path to becoming wise. Needing others to make your life how you want it to be is inferior to producing those results yourself.
Whenever we think the external causes the internal – it does.
Whenever we think the internal causes the external – it does.
So does it make sense to pursue a life where your environment (other people mostly) may or may not be who you want them to be, think how you want them to think and act how you want them to act…
…or does it make more sense for you to sharpen, hone, reinforce, and grow your internal state of being so that its so strong you can control how you feel every moment regardless of whats going on outside?
What does this have to do with not expecting anything from others?
Nobody can ever let you down
Luckily for me (really) I’ve always been this way. Every Time I need to accomplish something, I just assume I’m gonna do it myself.
I literally never expect anyone to make me feel good, validate me, help me out, provide for me, or even be nice to me.
I let others be who they are (most of the time) and lemme tell ya – its true freedom.
You will be happier I promise.
12. Live in the future – Shape your identity new
Often when we really feel like we’re in a funk, it’s because our internal identity no longer lines up well with our external reality.
We cannot avoid change, and although there’s much about you that remains the same, life causes us to grow, transform and blossom into something better.
When that happens, our old life (which was a perfect fit for our old self) no longer fits, and we find discord.
The key to solving this problem, is to create (or discover really) our new self’s identity.
Once that happens you can work on changing your life around to fit the new you.
It’s not about lieing to yourself, or faking it until you make it.
This you is real, and you are it right now, you just have beliefs, a worldly orientation, patterns, habits and life stuff that matches the old.
You are this new self, and you just need to realize your new self, and make your life match it.
Your life may have changed just reading that, because its a good thing, and it’s exciting!
- Make a list of what’s not working for you anymore. It might be people activities, a location, food, music, ideas, beliefs, behavior patterns. Anything.
- Give yourself time. It doesn’t need to happen now.
13. Break Generational Curses
I’m the first person in my family to go to college, and I dropped out!
Ha! Talk about irony!
A generational curse (as far as I’m concerned) – is a way that “life just is” for you and your family and the generations that came before you.
We tend to adopt the ills of our predecessors, but when you have the know how to see that a curse exists, you have the ability to break it, and free those who come after you from it.
Here is a list of generational curses:
Just because it was their life, doesn’t mean it needs to be yours. Plus, people are more capable of changing once they see it working for you.
14. Create a Superhuman Morning Routine
Why do I say superhuman?
How would your life change if in the first 3 hours of your day, you had exercised, read a book, taken care of your most important task, eaten breakfast, and say for 10 mins just appreciating the silence of your wonderful life?
Don’t think it’s possible?
Well, it is possible, because that’s my morning routine!
And I’m not from krypton, a morning person, nor do I have four arms.
A solid morning routine is what takes behaviors that make your life amazing and powerful, makes them habits, and makes it easy to do them because they’ve become habits.
15. Re-wire for positivity
You wanna know what really grinds my gears?
When people say this bullshit:
“I’m a realist man. Huh huh huh Imma realist. Other people have their head in the clouds but I’m down here on earth doing real shit, with my real clothes, and my real hair, and my real attitude, and my real and accurate and red pilled view of reality.”
As I wrote that, I gave it the most obnoxious voice possible.
I’m literally making fun of people who do that, because its a stupid quasi-woke thing to say.
If you’re a part of the less intelligent class of human beings, you probably think that people are either optimistic, negative, or a realist right?
That means the positive end of the spectrum is optimism – the negative end of the spectrum is pessimism, and realism is the balanced rational in between…right?
Wrong. You fail.
Who came up with this bullshit idea?
Here’s the non-dumbass way to go through life.
So obviously, the only reasonable way to go is to
But why though?…
16. Embrace the growth mindset
Because (you’re not supposed to start sentences with because) humans are not static creatures.
Your physical is not static:
- Your body grows
- Your hair grows
- Your fingernails grow
- You wither and die without food etc…
Your mind and intelligence grow: as new info comes you change how you think, new experiences change how you see the world.
It’s insane to think that you remain the same, because literally every piece of you is changing all the time.
Why is this important?
Because we often have issues with pigeonholing ourselves into an identity that limits us.
Listen, I’m not asking you to be a hippie who just imagines a fantasy world where they can do anything with no effort.
I want you to meet me halfway and admit that you are capable of growth.
You can easily grow into who you need/want to be and have your life how you see fit.
17. Decide to feel good right now
This one isn’t forever, because some of us like to just suffer 24/7 because it makes us feel like “we see things clearly”.
Such a crap idea, but anyway…
For those of you who love to use their mind to change their perspective on reality, choose to be happy right now.
You don’t need to wait on things to be perfect to feel good.
Choose to feel good now. When you do this, it’s almost like things flood into your life faster.
18. Stop letting your environment tell you what to do
You are the one who makes the rules.
Each of us lives inside a hallucinated, interpretation of the vibratory nature of our external reality.
The stuff out there, hell, it could be anything.
All we know is how our brain perceives it. But that isn’t the point. The point is that its malleable, and you can literally take charge of your own life by deciding that you are the one who decides what goes on around here.
Your environment tells you you’re stupid. No I’m not – and prove it.
Your environment tells you this could never happen. Yes it can – and prove it.
See where I’m going with this?
19. Design your life – and then Go Create it
5 Examples of Big Life Changes
Losing weight, Getting Shredded, Huge body or Diet Change
We’re at the point with medical science where your lifespan can be predicted by your average waist line measurement.
Story excess body fat is the number one killer on planet earth – even over warfare.
Getting serious about your health is not only getting trapped in a vicious cycle of “I must lose weight” though!
It’s much easier and more fun to build something rather than tear something down.
Instead of worrying about how much weight you have to lose, start getting fascinated by sculpting a body you’ll be confident to show off and feel good about.
Deciding to make more money
It’s everyone’s favorite sound – cha ching!
Have you ever thought about starting an online business?
There are some realy wonky ways out there now to make money on the internet.
Maybe you could try one of them?
Or just say screw the online world and become obsessed with flipping yard sale stuff on eBay.
However you want baller.
Learning a lot about basic human psychology
This is actually the most common life change (I think) after fitness goals.
Start consuming self improvement knowledge and live a better life.
A life where you stop learning at 18 is a life you’ve wasted completely.
Psychology is a good place to start because it allows you to understand why you and others behave and think the way we do.
Going after a huge dream with serious impact
A huge dream you have will require sacrifice.
It will break you and then make you into something new and more extraordinary.
If you’ve ever wondered how to make a big change in the world, this might be a good option for you to consider.
Ask yourself how you’re going to be remembered?
Or ask yourself how you plan on getting noticed in the next couple of years.
Achieving your full potential
Going after the big one is as big as a life change can get.
It means finding a tremendous amount of focus, sprinting forward towards a life of your own design, with short term goals that are meaningful and powerful.
You’ll end up breaking bad habits, forming new routines, leaving the old and outdated behind.
It requires faith, sleepless nights, optimization – but eventually you get to a point where every move you make is done with an unstoppable enthusiasm that you’ll give up for nothing.
Trying to become the best person you can possibly be gives you something intangible that you can’t hold up and show anyone, but you know is real – and incredible.
How to make a plan to change your life
Diagnose your problem areas
Use the wheel of life exercise to figure out the wounded areas of your life that need healed.
What about these situations do you not like?
It’s important to do the planning process properly, because a good plan gives us our best chance for success.
Take a sheet of paper and really pour your feelings about the circumstance out.
Make sure you know exactly what you do not like about [insert issue] before continuing.
Practice a conversation. If a therapist were to ask you about this issue, what would you say to them? If the worlds do not flow effortless from your mouth, you havent fleshed out the issue enough.
What is the opposite. What do you like?
Flip all that round and decide what you would prefer things to be like instead.
Now that you know what you want, set goals to achieve this.
Most problems in life are going to deal with all the nouns we have in our lives.
You’ll end up replacing these (the ones that are no longer a good fit for your life / are causing you unhappiness) and replacing them with better suited options.
Support + Self Discipline
There is no rule that says your environment right now must be supportive of the changes you are trying to make.
In fact, often it wont be, becasue we attract unconsciously people who are on the same level as us.
When you’re ready to level up, they might not be, and it will make them uncomfortable.
This gets tricky when the environment is all you have.
- Maybe you live with your parents or room mates
- You’re in a sticky situation in general
- Its a job you need
These are times when you just tolerate your current environment as long as you need to get footing in another situation.
Find a way to shield yourself from toxicity, ignore people, find polite ways to end conversations quickly & stay in your own little safe cacoon inside your mind until more favorable circumstances arrive.
You can do it and you deserve to do it – that’s the bottom line.
It might not be that simple for you though. The mental chatter can be a huge pain in the ass.
Talk to yourself, instead of listening to yourself.
Remember, the thoughts that come into your mind are largely just repetitive programming you’ve accumulated over the years of being alive.
Even though you’ve made the mental switch, your mind is always on autopilot, and will still feed you the old programming.
Think of unplugging a fan, the fan is technically off, and there is no power.
So you know the fan will eventually come to a full stop – but the momentum from when it was on is still there for a while after. You have to wait for that inertia to give way.
Increase your ability to deal with this positively by constantly feeding your mind the new self you’ve created.
When the old stuff comes into your mind, say no, and then affirm the new stuff.
Action, action, & more action
Most people don’t succeed at anything because they don’t do enough.
I’ll never forget the time when I heard Tai L. answer a question with the response:
“Most of you guys aren’t winning because you’re not doing anything. You guys think its like the best people winning but its not, its the people who are taking action.”
Action does a few things:
- It gets results
- It gets you noticed
- It shows you data
Grant Cardone said once: “You can either be perfect, or you can be everywhere.”
It’s true. Quality is important, but I would choose more action over better action any day to be honest.
For me, putting out a bunch of blog posts shows me what people want to read about, and what they are looking to read to help them in their lives.
When taking action, always have a plan, but after you spend some time creating a good plan, blast off as fast as humanly possible.
Taking action is not just about goals, its also about you. When you take action each day, you change your identity.
Now everything about you identifies with [insert action here] and you become a person who does it
Quotes about making life changes
“A year from now you’ll wish you started today” – Karen Lamb
“It doesnt matter where you are. You’re nowhere compared to where you can go!” – Bob Proctor
“To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churhill
“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change” – Stephen Hawking
“One day, or day one. You decide”
“Let him that would move the world first move himself” – Socrates
I’m literally an expert at making extreme life changes.
No cockiness or me pretending to be super qualified so you’ll believe me.
When I was 13 years old, I went from living in a basically broken (money and family wise) home to living it up at one of the most lavish and high quality private boarding schools to make friends and learn among the rich and famous for four years.
Big life change.
Then I went off to college, only to survive it for three years and be forced to change again due to feeling like I didn’t fit in, and move on.
I then moved into the monastery at 21 to search for the meaning of life. I literally went from thinking I’d be selling insurance my entire life, to donning the robes of a renunciate – vows, mantras, 24 hours a day. The whole thing.
Big life change.
Then, leaving the monastery, I transitioned back into worldly life and starting working at a warehouse where they distributed beer.
Big life change.
I was paying bills, taxes, dating, netflixing and chilling (which I had no idea existed until moving out of the monastery ha!) – then, feeling the possibility of truly turning my life into something extraordinary, I answered another call…
…for a Big life change.
I had to follow my dream.
I had to start making serious money, so I could fill the table with the highest quality food, water and give myself and my wonderful family the best life I could offer them.
Big life change. Scary life change, but now it’s done.
I’m telling you all this, just to make it clear to you that not only are you going to make these changes and have everything you want in life, but you’re going to make them over and over again…
…because that’s what you’re here for. To grow, into much more than you ever imagined possible.
Not just to resign your life to what’s already here.
There is no rule that says the fear has to keep hold of you forever.
No rule that says you don’t have “the right stuff” either.
It’s nonsense and you’re ready to replace that nonsense with the truth.
You deserve to do it, you’re going to do it, and nothing’s gonna stop you.