If you’re at a crossroads and life, wondering what your life is meant to be, where its meant to go and who you’re meant to be…pay attention.
I’ve already gone through what you’re going through, and I can help you.
In the depths of despair, where shadows consume hope and anguish is a relentless companion, we stumble through the labyrinth of our existence, searching for a flicker of meaning in the darkness.
Each step feels more uncertain. Essentially, you’re left there with your own mind while it screams at you all day long.
The world turns gray. Everyone is having a good time, except you.
That chaos itself is a blessing, because it’s that very numbing pain that propels you into the type of highly optimized and exhilarating existence you’re meant to live. All your hopes and dreams for yourself are on the other side.
Some call it the dark night of the soul. Some call it trial and tribulation. You could even call it the universe’s hazing ritual.
Either way, it’s a period of pain and suffering that lasts as long or as little as the speed you choose to travel through it.
Eventually, you find a faint echo of possibility, of a destiny waiting to be claimed. It’s a glimmer of light in the suffocating darkness, igniting a flame of determination within you.
As you start to discover the power within yourself to rise above adversity and forge a path of your own design, each trial becomes a stepping stone propelling you forward toward a future you were bold enough to envision—a future where your struggles transform into strengths, and your wounds become badges of honor.
When this finally happens, you are no longer a victim of circumstance, but a warrior who has emerged victorious from the battlefield of life.
Your purpose is clear, your resolve unshakable.
And though the scars of your past may still linger, they serve as a reminder of the journey that has brought you here—a journey of pain, triumph, and the unwavering pursuit of your own unique destiny.
The first thing you do is…
Get uncomfortable
People often try to escape their own suffering, but you can’t afford that. That suffering is your best friend at this point in time; its the only reason you feel the need to change your life at all.
Don’t turn to escapism. No netflix, video games, drugs, alcohol…none of it. Sit there and suffer.
Get a notebook or journal and write down your suffering and then stare at it. Lay down in your bed, close your eyes and feel those feelings. What is this suffering telling you?
Allow it to communicate all the things about life you’re dissatisfied with. You need this information to move forward.
Transformation can only happen when you are very familiar with how much your life sucks. Even if your life is nice, you’re ready to move into something even nicer.
Like clothes that don’t fit anymore, your life (even if it’s a Gucci or Lamborghini quality life) has become too small.
Decide to do something about it
Feelings like shame, guilt and anxiety lead to (still negative but) more powerful emotions like anger. Anger shouldn’t exist in your life or too long, but it is good and serves a purpose.
Anger gives rise to the feeling of pride. Pride takes your anger and transmutes it into motivation.
Not only are you angry that you have to live through these circumstances, but you feel you deserve more…
Now you plan on changing your life by moving up the emotional scale. See how that works?
Wander a little bit
When you decide to change your life, you need information. Humans love gathering info without a plan, and that’s probably what you’ll do (maybe you already have).
It’s okay. You’ll feel relief as soon as you start learning about the new journey you’re about to embark on. Enjoy it, it won’t last.
Get to know yourself MUCH deeper
Whenever superficial information from youtube videos are cutting it for you anymore, you’ll want more specialized information, and anyone wise throughout history qualified to speak on the topic is gonna tell you one thing: know thyself.
Wild and powerful transformation comes from getting in touch with the faint echoes of your soul.
It’s the only way.
It’s the only way.
It’s the only way
There is no other way.
There is no other way.
There is no other way.
You end up wrestling with yourself, in order to respect the fighter you truly are and befriend yourself afterward.
Here’s a moderately comprehensive list of things you’ll want to know:
- Values: Understanding one’s core values provides a compass for decision-making and guides actions towards fulfilling endeavors.
- Passions: Identifying activities or subjects that ignite enthusiasm and bring joy can lead to fulfilling pursuits.
- Strengths: Recognizing personal strengths and talents allows individuals to leverage them in meaningful ways.
- Weaknesses: Acknowledging weaknesses helps in personal growth and directs efforts towards improvement or seeking support where needed.
- Experiences: Reflecting on past experiences, both positive and negative, can offer insights into what resonates deeply and what should be pursued or avoided.
- Interests: Exploring various interests and hobbies can uncover areas of fascination and potential avenues for fulfillment.
- Impact: Considering the kind of impact one wants to have on the world or the lives of others can help shape purpose-driven goals.
- Inspirations: Reflecting on role models or sources of inspiration can reveal aspirations and ideals worth striving for.
- Life Goals: Clarifying short-term and long-term goals provides direction and motivation towards a purposeful life.
- Meaningful Relationships: Evaluating the significance of relationships and connections can highlight areas where one finds purpose in supporting or contributing to others’ well-being.
- Spirituality or Beliefs: Exploring spiritual or philosophical beliefs can provide a framework for understanding one’s purpose in the larger context of existence.
- Desires for Contribution: Considering how one wishes to contribute to the community, society, or the world at large can unveil meaningful avenues for purposeful action.
- Personal Identity: Reflecting on personal identity, including aspects such as culture, ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation, can inform how one wants to express their purpose authentically.
- Personal Growth: Embracing opportunities for continuous learning and growth can lead to a sense of purpose in evolving as an individual.
Combine all the formulas together into one
There are a million ideas out there and a million more formulas for achieving a sense of purpose in life. Everyone has the keys to a good life. I’m not saying they’re wrong, but in order to not get bogged down by analysis paralysis, I came up with a clever solution: combine them all into one.
And that’s precisely what I did. I came up with my own system of combining all the ideas about how to be healthy, happy, wealthy and have long lasting stable relationships into one formula that I used to hone in on my one most important vision for my life.
There was material I learned from life coaches.
- Ikigai
- Eulerian destiny
- Core values assessment
- How to write a personal vision statement
- How to write a personal mission statement
- Creating generic life purpose statements
- Using life purpose generators etc…
I knew I wanted to combine them all but I didn’t know how.
I put them all on several sheets of paper and just stared at them for a while until it started to make sense to me.
Align those formulae properly
Eventually it came to me. I combined them all in a system that looked something like this (simplified version):
- What matters to me most?
- What are my values?
- Am I living in accordance with my values now?
- If now, how could i change my life such that I am
- What are my immediate goals
- What are my long term dreams and aspirations
- What am I passionate about?
- What are my skills, strengths and weakness
- Do I feel like I have a divine, predestined or god given purpose to follow?
- What contribution do I want to make in the world?
- Who do I want to serve? Who do I want to help?
- What do those people need?
- How could I serve them in a way that I’m most comfortable with but they still benefit from?
- How can I make money from all this?
Ask yourself the right questions
The next thing you want to do is ask yourself the right questions. Now might be a good time to tell you that this might take a while. Definitely hours, possibly days. Meditation can help. If you feel like you aren’t making any headway, just set the intention to find the answer and let your subconscious mind do the calculation for you.
That’s a method I use all the time and it really works. Albert Einstein used to do it as well. Set the intention and forget about it. Go do something else, and then it will come to you as an AH HAH moment.
Here are some questions you want to focus on during this whole process:
- Do I need to make money from this?
- Should it be a hobby or after hours contribution
- What skills do i need that i don’t have
- What skills do i already have that will help
- Am I willing to die for this?
- What if nobody likes me and thinks i’m full of shit
- How long am i willing to work
- How much am I willing to give up?
- Who’s already done this in the world?
- Are there books or biographies of people who’ve already done this? Are there interviews/podcasts?
- When I imagine it vividly, how does the future where I’ve already accomplished this feel? What feelings and experience is that version of me having?
Write down the declaration
Write down what you’ve decided to do.
It can be as simple as: my life is going to become like this, I will become this person who does this everyday, who makes this much money, helps these people and feels this way about it.
If you look closely in this statement, you can isolate goals.
Set goals and execute them PROPERLY
Come up with a list of goals present in your statement. What needs to be done to make that a reality?
Order the goals in the most logical way possible, and then start knocking them out one by one.
Start living it now
Success means you’ve mastered the art of being your future before it actually happens.
“Being as if” is the notion of embodying a state or persona that may not align with one’s current reality, but is adopted as if it were true. It involves consciously engaging in thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that reflect a desired outcome or identity, regardless of present circumstances.
When we embrace the practice of “being as if,” we tap into the potential of our subconscious mind to shape our reality.
By visualizing ourselves already living the life we aspire to, we begin to align our actions and intentions with that vision.
Whether it’s envisioning success in our careers, cultivating fulfilling relationships, or embodying traits of confidence and resilience, “being as if” allows us to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.
However, “being as if” requires more than just wishful thinking; it demands commitment, discipline, and unwavering belief in the possibility of our dreams.
It’s about stepping into the role of the person we aspire to become, embracing discomfort and challenges along the way, knowing that every action taken in alignment with our vision brings us closer to its realization.
In essence, “being as if” empowers us to rewrite our story, transform our reality, and manifest our highest potential.