1. “I don’t know what my passion is.”
Exploring different interests and activities can help uncover what truly excites you. They call it flurries of activity – doing a bunch of things in a short period of time not only jolts you out of your “life is boring and normal‘ stupor but gives you insight into how exciting random parts of life can be.
Sort of like speed dating but for life instead. It’s very common for someone to find their passion randomly simply by being thrust into it. Plus, I have a proven system that’s been tested by hundreds of life coaches all over the world with paying clients.
I’ve never seen it not work.
According to research by psychologists Todd Kashdan and Paul Silvia, experimentation and exploration are key components of discovering one’s passions. They argue that trying out various activities and interests can lead individuals to uncover their true passions.
2. “I’m too old to start.”
Age is just a number; it’s never too late to pursue what makes you happy.
- Vera Wang: Vera Wang didn’t start her career in fashion until she was 40 years old. She went on to become one of the most renowned fashion designers in the industry.
- Stan Lee: The legendary comic book writer and editor didn’t create his first hit comic, Fantastic Four, until he was in his late 30s. He later co-created iconic characters like Spider-Man, the X-Men, Iron Man, and many more.
- Julia Child: Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” until she was 49 years old. She went on to become a pioneering television chef and one of the most influential figures in the culinary world.
- Samuel L. Jackson: Samuel L. Jackson struggled with addiction in his early career and didn’t land his breakout role in “Pulp Fiction” until he was in his early 40s. He has since become one of the highest-grossing actors of all time.
- Colonel Harland Sanders: The founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) didn’t achieve success until he was in his 60s. After facing multiple business failures throughout his life, he finally found success with his fried chicken recipe and went on to build a fast-food empire.
The notion of being too old to start is debunked by numerous examples of individuals who found success later in life.
What’s the conclusion of this limiting belief? That there’s a certain age where you should just resign to being useless? What age is that? What if you have something to offer, but don’t offer it and others suffer because of that. What happens then?
Stupid idea. Debunked.
3. “I can’t afford to follow my passion.”
Neither could I. You have to start with what you have, or you’ll never start. When you do what you can in a small way it builds. Your enthusiasm and passion build, and then you’ll just find clever ways to get what needs done, done.
People are very clever. Start, you’ll like it, and then you’ll be willing to get rid of things that don’t offer you as much and spend less money on them. Along with just finding interesting ways to make things work…you’ll figure it out.
There are ways to pursue passions within your means. I know exactly what it’s like to build a successful online business on free training and ebooks. Do what you can now, and the momentum will build. Then you can spend money on the big guns.
Financial constraints can be navigated with creativity and resourcefulness. Bestselling author Chris Guillebeau highlights in his book “The $100 Startup” how many successful entrepreneurs started their ventures with minimal capital, emphasizing the importance of resourcefulness and determination.
4. “My passion won’t make enough money.”
How could you possibly know that right now? There are 8 billion people in the world. At least half of them have the money to spend on what you have to offer.
With dedication and creativity, many passions can be monetized.
Refutation: Author and entrepreneur Tim Ferriss, in his book “The 4-Hour Workweek,” explores unconventional ways to monetize passions and achieve financial independence. He provides real-life examples of individuals who turned their hobbies into profitable ventures.
Regardless, how much money does your passion need to make in order to be viable? If you take a skill, put it inside a pdf and sell that pdf for $20. To make an extra $6000/ year you only need 300 people to buy it each year. That’s 25 people per month. Easily done with the power of the internet. People do it all the time. Why not you?
If you want to make more than that, take the process you used to get the first 300 sales and pour gasoline on it, reach more people…make more money.
The numbers are too big on planet earth right now for you to be saying something silly like “my passion wont make enough money.” How much do you need it to make? Then sit there with a calculator and figure out what that looks like in terms of price and number of sales.
It’s not as out of reach as you think.
If people can make money on YouTube by reacting to others’ videos (not even making their own) then you can take something you’re into and sell it to people who are also interested.
I bought a book on gardening that taught me what to plant, and when according to the season and my planting zone. It was written by a girl who has an instagram page I like to follow.
Ten years ago, who would have thought you could make money on the internet teaching people how to garden? Who would have thought twitch streamers would be rich from playing video games all day.
Tough love: the world doesn’t belong to you, and you’re not allowed to just decide what people are willing to spend their money on.
The odds are in your favor. Put yourself out there and see who’s willing to pay for it.
5. “I’m not talented enough.”
Passion often trumps talent; skills can be developed with practice and persistence. It’s not necessarily those who are “good” who succeed in life, it’s those who act.
Renowned psychologist Carol Dweck, in her research on the growth mindset, emphasizes the importance of effort and perseverance over innate talent. She argues that believing in the potential for growth and learning can lead to greater success.
People can definitely be born with skills that require years of effort to acquire for those who are not. Innate skill matters, but innate skill is almost like a container – without practice and effort that innate skill is useless.
When you decide to live a life based on things you’re passionate about, naturally you’ll practice them, interact with those crafts and skills and become better at them over time.
Do people who do something over and over again not become better over time? You will too. It’s just a formula that works for humans.
When we’re really into something, we read everything about it, learn everything about it, can’t shut up about it and eventually master it.
Don’t worry about being talented. Talent is nice, but it’s not necessarily required to be good at something.
You want to be good, and all you need to be good is dedication, proper effort and time.
You’ll be fine.
6. “My family expects me to follow a different path.”
To what end though, and at what price? If you feel strongly that your life means moving in a direction that isn’t what your family expected of you, then do it. You don’t need anyone’s permission to live a life of your choosing.
Psychologist Susan David, in her TED Talk “The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage,” discusses the importance of living authentically and staying true to oneself, even in the face of familial expectations. She emphasizes the value of open communication and self-expression.
Humans are meant to be free. Humans are allowed to pursue their own happiness and, within reason, I would suggest that anyone who infringes on that happiness is the one to blame in this circumstance – not the person trying to do something different.
If your family truly supports you and wants you to be happy, even with some pain, they should accept that you wish to do something different with your life.
If they don’t then maybe those are people who share the same DNA as you but don’t truly love you.
You’ll have some introspection to get through to decide whether or not the path you want to take is being rejected by them for good reason, and how to balance that out.
How do you explain to them without them getting mad at you? How to deal with them when you have to explain to them that results come with time and they don’t see anything happening.
That’s probably gonna be hard, but all of us who’ve chosen to live purposeful lives have had to deal with struggle, and this might be yours. Personally, my family was extremely supportive…I had other struggles to deal with, and they weren’t fun.
One of the barriers to entry for this wonderful life you’re about to start is being able to deal with these types of struggles. If you can’t, then you can live a regular life and suffer internally for the duration of it.
Which is worse?
Ultimately, it’s your life to live; communicate your desires and seek understanding.
7. “I’m afraid of failure.”
Failure is a natural part of growth and learning. Remember when it took every ounce of focus and about two minutes to back your first car out of the driveway? Now some of us drive and don’t even remember driving to where we drove to.
In the beginning you’ll suck, in the middle you’ll be better, and in the end you’ll be good.
So what are you afraid of? Think about the effect that being afraid of criticism and other’s rejection is going to have on your life – is it a good effect or a bad one?
Mark Cuban said you only have to win once, and nobody remembers the failures. Practice the right thing and over time you’ll start getting better. It’s really not that big of a deal.
Entrepreneur and author Seth Godin, in his book “The Dip,” argues that failure is an essential part of the journey toward success. He encourages embracing failure as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone toward achieving one’s goals.
You’ll be fine.
8. “I don’t have enough time.”
How much time will it take? Do you know? If you don’t know, then how can you say you don’t have enough time? You just made that up.
Even allocating small amounts of time to something your passionate about can be highly effective and have a tremendously beneficial effect on your life.
In her book 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, author Laura Vanderkam challenges the notion of not having enough time and provides strategies for optimizing time management to make room for pursuing meaningful activities.
It’s not about having enough time, it’s about taking effective action.
Stop making excuses.
9. “I’m too busy with work and other responsibilities.”
Make it work anyway. Life is never going to be flawless and devoid of difficulty. You’re a human being, you’re capable of doing hard things. In fact, you’re the only thing that can do hard things. Animals, insects, fungal life etc…they can only do what they’re programmed to do.
Tigers can’t fly, birds can’t swim. Humans don’t belong in the air or in the ocean, but we chose to go there anyway.
It’s time for you to meet difficulties with optimism that the challenge of making shit work for you will make you stronger and better.
Living your life making excuses and being as flimsy as a wet spaghetti noodle isnt offering you any value.
Tony Robbins, in his seminars and books, emphasizes the importance of taking control of our schedule and prioritizing activities that align with our values and goals. He advocates for making time for what truly matters.
Prioritize: When something is important, find a way to make time for it. Something has to give. I know you only have so many hours in the day. So make time for the most important things, and give them only the time they deserve to have.
Impact: Not pursuing your dreams leaves a hole in the world that maybe only you can fill. People will be affected by your presence in that space or absence. Think about the negative impact it has on earth if you aren’t occupying the space you deserve to have.
What would happen if the people who’ve positively affected us in life chose not to because they “didn’t have the time.” Where would you and I be?
Long-term Fulfillment: this is a long term commitment you’re thinking about making. So even if you think you have priorities now that are more important, what about in thirty years?
If you started right now, how big would your dream be in a decade? What effect will a decade of that kind of progress have on you and others? Is it still second fiddle now?
10. “I’m afraid of what others will think.”
Lean in close and listen to me. Your happiness and fulfillment are more important than others’ opinions.
Brené Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, discusses the destructive power of shame and the importance of embracing vulnerability to cultivate genuine connections. She shows us how important it is to let go of the need for external validation and live wholeheartedly. The results of not doing so are more catastrophic than the so-called judgment of others.
Nobody cares about you that much.
I remember when I was in college absolutely hating to show up late. It was embarrassing. Opening the door when the professor was writing something on the board.
Everyone can see you. The attention is 100% on you the whole time. You can hear your own feet sliding across the floor. Every noise you make was way louder because everyone was quiet and focused on the lesson.
I hated it. I hated it so much, that if I were even gonna be five minutes late, I just wouldn’t go. Seriously. I missed so many classes simply because I didn’t like the feeling of arriving late.
But then one day I noticed someone else come in late and realized I didn’t give a shit at all. Actually, I sympathized with the guy. I realized that my fear was irrational.
Some people will criticize and make fun of you. Some will sympathize with you, and some will support you. Since there are billions of us on this rock, all three of those groups will be hundreds of millions strong.
A million will talk shit about you, but a million will also have your back. A million will make fun of you when you make a mistake but a million will also smile and pat you on the back, knowing that none of us could make the same mistake.
More often than not, you’ll realize that so many of us want to follow our dreams and, even when you fail, fall or trip, they’ll admire you for having the courage to try and inspiring them to do the same.
11. “I don’t know where to start.”
You start at the beginning, and the beginning is where you are now. I do get you though, you don’t know what the plan is. You wanna know what the proper course of action that leads to success is.
Author and entrepreneur Marie Forleo, in her book “Everything Is Figureoutable,” advocates for taking action and starting where you are. She emphasizes that the first step is often the hardest but crucial for progress.
Flurries of action have always been the most recommended method for knowing what you’re into. It’s a great way to get to know yourself. You take 14 days and do 14 different things: kayaking, hiking, different cuisine, watching different styles of movies, going on an outing with different people etc…
The simplest way to know how to start would be to have a plan that extracts your likes, dislikes, values and core essence from deep within you. I created Visionary Confidence to do just that.
So if you’d rather sit at your computer and figure out how to start, that program solves that problem precisely. No more confusion. Self clarity AND a clear path forward.
That’s why it’s called Visionary Confidence – confidence in your vision. Knowing what it is for sure and moving toward it.
12. “I’ve tried pursuing my passion before, and it didn’t work out.”
Well the process itself DOES work. So if something works and it didn’t work for you, what’s the conclusion?
- You maybe put in enough effort but not in the right place
- You follow a flawed system
- You had mindset issues
- You lacked a support system
- You had fault information from someone unqualified or just basic “internet‘ information
- You gave up too early
Psychologist Angela Duckworth (professor at UPenn), in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, says that resilience is needed in pursuing long term goals. Setbacks are inevitable but not indicative of ultimate failure.
Sometimes your approach just needs to be refined.
Most people give up after three tries at something. That fourth try sets you apart from the rest of the world.
Ask anyone who’s ever done anything great. It never worked the first time. Ever.
13. “I’m not sure if my passion is practical.”
Practical just means, “Can it be put into practice?‘. Many people have taken unconventional paths to find fulfillment. Elon Musk started online payment processing when there was no example of it in the world for him to say “Yeah we know this works because it works for them‘. He and his partners pulled that out of there ass so-to-speak.
Then, he created his own space travel company. When you believe in something the only thing left in your way is the process, and that process isn’t going to be much different than accomplishing any other goal.
Steve Jobs, in his Stanford University commencement speech, famously advised graduates to pursue their passions and trust that the dots will connect in the future. He himself followed his passion for technology, leading to the creation of Apple.
The process for achieving all goals is the same. The goals are different, that’s the only difference.
Use your imagination to travel back to the intention of the automobile, the tank, the airplane, the phone, the cell phone, the radio, uber, google, youtube, amazon, pizza delivery, MTV, the electric guitar etc…
Plenty of things in life we take for granted were once unconventional. So what, do it anyway. You’ll be fine.
14. “I’m afraid I’ll lose interest.”
It’s called sunk in cost fallacy. You’re afraid you’ll put all this effort in and somewhere along the way you’ll find out that you never wanted it in the first place. Then what?
Valid point, which is why you need a proven system where that won’t happen. I’ve created that system where you wont end up picking the wrong thing. It’s called Visionary Confidence. Check it out.
I don’t really think it’s as big of a deal as you do.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his research on flow and optimal experience, emphasizes the importance of engagement and challenge in maintaining interest over time. He suggests that actively pursuing activities that align with your skills and interests can lead to sustained passion.
Otherwise, stay open to new experiences and be willing to adapt as your passions shift. That happening doesn’t mean you condemn yourself to a passionless life.
15. “I’m too comfortable in my current situation.”
Ah, yes – the dreaded comfort zone. You don’t want to give up the familiar because its secure. What you don’t realize is that you don’t have a choice.
We grow. Nothing we can do about that. If you grow but don’t change, you grow within a life that is slowly becoming too small. It’s like never getting clothes for your children as they grow older.
Imagine wearing shoes two sizes too small. They’ll work, but how uncomfortable is that?
You cannot avoid your own growth, life does it to us without our permission. Waiting too long to change with that growth can be catastrophic and life will rip what no longer fits you out of your life in, oftentimes, very aggressive ways.
It’s a good idea to have your rate of transformation be as close to 1:1 as possible.
In her TEDx talk “How to stop screwing yourself over”, Mel Robbins, talks about the impact of complacency and the importance of pushing past comfort zones to achieve personal growth.
The resistance to change will quite literally destroy your life.
How to step outside your comfort zone:
- Identify Comfort Zone: Recognize areas of your life where you feel safe and familiar.
- Set Goals: Define specific goals or challenges that lie beyond your comfort zone.
- Take Small Steps: Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps.
- Face Fears: Confront fears and uncertainties that arise when stepping outside your comfort zone.
- Embrace Discomfort: Accept discomfort as a natural part of growth and learning.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or mentors who encourage your growth.
- Reflect and Learn: Reflect on experiences outside your comfort zone and learn from both successes and failures.
- Repeat: Continuously seek new challenges and opportunities for growth to expand your comfort zone over time.
Benefits of leaving your comfort zone:
- Personal Growth: Stepping outside your comfort zone allows you to develop new skills, strengths, and perspectives.
- Increased Confidence: Overcoming challenges builds confidence and resilience, boosting self-esteem.
- Expanded Opportunities: Embracing new experiences opens doors to opportunities for learning, success, and fulfillment.
- Adaptability: By stretching beyond familiar boundaries, you become more adaptable and better equipped to handle change.
- Breakthroughs: Pushing past comfort zones can lead to breakthroughs in creativity, problem-solving, and innovation.
- Heightened Awareness: Experiencing discomfort cultivates mindfulness and self-awareness, fostering personal development.
- Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Challenging self-imposed limitations expands your belief in what’s possible, empowering you to achieve more.
- Resilience: Facing adversity outside your comfort zone strengthens resilience, enabling you to bounce back from setbacks.
- Authenticity: Embracing discomfort encourages authenticity as you explore and express your true self.
- Life Satisfaction: Ultimately, stepping outside your comfort zone leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life, rich with growth and new experiences.
16. I don’t have the right education or qualifications
This is my least favorite excuse because it’s the one that makes the least sense. You’ve learned things before, right? Ok, so learn them again. There are plenty of courses on the internet, books and you can even find free courses and certificates on sites like Alison.
Whatever you need to learn you can learn. Whatever skills you need to acquire you can. These are not difficult obstacles to overcome so there’s no reason to worry about them.
Peter Thiel (Paypal), in his book “Zero to One,” says that formal education is not a prerequisite for success and that unconventional thinking with real-world experience trump traditional credentials like degrees.
Isolate what skills you need. Understand what you need to know. What will you need to know well in order to do what you’re trying to do. Now go watch 10 youtube videos about it, read five books, and subscribe to a podcast on it.
Watch how quickly this idea that you don’t have the qualifications for your dream fade away.
Learning is simple, especially when you enjoy what you’re learning about.
You’ll be fine.
17. I’m afraid of success
Good. That’s normal. It would be weird if you werent afraid. Fear is an emotion that is just as valid and necessary as any other emotion. It’s not necessary for you to shy away from it. Fear is nothing but data. It gives you vital information about how you’re processing the situation.
You’re about to transform your entire life into one where you have better relationships, a nicer career, more respect, prestige and money.
It’s totally NORMAL to be scared of a radical change like that. Your entire life is about to change.
My entire life changed when I heard this idea: when the body and mind feel fear they start preparing you mentally and physically for what’s about to happen.
- Your heart rate increases
- Your breathing gets shallow
- Your muscles prepare for quick and aggressive activity
- Your ability to store and process memories increases
- You get tunnel vision and become hyper focused
When your body turns the fear mechanism on its turning on your ability to fight and meet whatever challenge is in front of you.
It’s a state of preparation. You’re getting ready to go.
So when you perceive a huge task, challenge, achievement, or your huge dream, that fear is your body preparing to meet that challenge. Nothing else.
You’re getting revved up for this opportunity to grow. It’s a good thing. So unless you think you’re gonna die in the process, there’s no need to see those feelings as bad things.
That’s what humans preparing themselves for battle looks like. It’s a good thing.
Too much of that stress can be harmful though, so accept as much as you need and mentally dispose of the rest.
Reframe the challenges of success into something positive. You lose weight and get fit at the gym, so the stress and burning muscles is a good thing.
You live a better life when you meet challenges head on and pulverize them. It’s a good thing.
A little shortness of breath and sweaty palms never hurt anyone.
You’ll be fine.
18. I’m too overwhelmed to even think about this
Paralysis by over analysis. Focus on one step at a time. That’s all I have to say about that. Don’t try and fit the whole thing in your head at once. You’ll freak out that way.
- Make a master plan.
- Be confident that this plan has everything you need within it
- Stop thinking about the future and execute each step.
You don’t have to worry about the future, because the future is already taken care of inside the plan.
Stress out over the plan. Be meticulous. Get it perfect. Then stop worrying about it.
The plan is flawless so there’s no reason to stress about the future. That’s what you say to yourself.
19. I’m too focused on others’ needs to prioritize my own
Toxic. There’s no doubt that people need you, but if you kill yourself in the process, both of you will be screwed in the end.
Plus taking care of people can be too much sometimes. There’s value in letting others solve their own problems and handle their own shit. So let them.
You can’t remove 100% of the struggle from a person’s life. It cripples them, and you’re actually doing them a disservice.
People who are used to taking care of others fail to realize that nobody ever needs as much of you as your huge heart is willing to provide.
Read the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.
20: “I’m not worthy of pursuing my passion.”
This is last on purpose. Finally, we’ve come full circle.
All the excuses we’ve discussed here are housed under the umbrella of this one. This sinister little snake that creeps into your psyche and lays its eggs there.
I hate it.
It makes you come up with the other 19 bullshit excuses, when the reality is, it was this one the whole time.
You want to live this amazing brand new life but something is telling you that you don’t deserve it. You’re not worthy.
Why? Is your DNA inferior or something? Are the rest of us born with superior genetics and that’s why we’re free to live as we choose and you’re condemned to a depressing mediocre life?
Or are you so dull-headed you think that the universe gave this freedom to everyone on earth other than you. You’ve somehow been singled out by god and you’re not allowed to be happy like the rest of us. Right?
Does that really make any sense?
No, it doesn’t. There’s enough room for you. Stop lying to yourself. Stop wasting time and get moving.
Get your copy of my flagship finding passion, purpose and destiny program called Visionary Confidence.
It’s really good. It covers everything in a very simple way. All you have to do is follow along.
I would be VERY VERY surprised, shocked and flabbergasted if you completed the program and didn’t experience new levels of self clarity.
You’ll understand yourself, your wants, and your “not” wants better – AND you’ll be able to more clearly decide what your next big move is in life.
It really is a masterpiece that I’m super proud of, so if you pick it up I know you’ll feel a lot better about following your dreams, living your purpose
You can get Visionary Confidence here and feel that sigh of relief immediately. 🙂
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